If you were my son, Mac... I would have smothered you by now.
5 seconds sound clip from the Super Troopers movie soundboard.
You can hear this line at 01:15:56 in the Blu-ray version of the movie.
Quote context
[...]
- Good, now. Who wants a shot?
- I do.
- I do!
- Do you have any openings in Sherburne, Cap?
- Oh, come on. We're like the sons you never had.
- If you were my son, Mac... I would have smothered you by now.
- Smothered me in gravy, you big, dirty man.
- You put in for a transfer yet?
- Ugh! I applied for a guard job. At the post office.
- You'll finally get to shoot someone.
[...]