Fake! All these newfangled machines. Fake! They prove nothing. In the old days, we used to do these things better.

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15 seconds sound clip from the The Fortune Cookie (1966) movie soundboard.

You can hear this line at 00:48:33 in the Blu-ray version of the movie.

Quote context

[...]

- Fascinating, isn't it? The way we can now corroborate subjective symptoms.

- It's a new technique they developed in Rochester.

- I know. I read all about it in Time magazine.

- Well, gentlemen, I think we must agree that our findings are not inconsistent with an exacerbation of the median nerve in the lumbar plexus.

- Are we then unanimous in our evaluation, Professor Winterhalter?

- Fake! All these newfangled machines. Fake! They prove nothing. In the old days, we used to do these things better.

- A man says he's paralyzed, we simply throw him in the snake pit. If he climbs out, then we know he's lying.

- And if he doesn't climb out?

- Then we have lost a patient, but we have found an honest man.

- Wait a minute, you guys. You're not throwing me in any pit! You bring one snake in here... Just one little snake!

- Therefore, to answer the most vital question, 'Is the patient indeed disabled, or is he merely simulating?'

- After an analysis in depth of all the diagnostic data, we, the undersigned doctors, have come to the definite conclusion that the evidence is definitely inconclusive.

[...]

Top rated lines from this movie

A man says he's paralyzed, we simply throw him in the snake pit. If he climbs out, then we know he's lying. -And if he doesn't climb out? -Then we have lost a patient, but we have found an honest man.

Hey, fasten your seat belt. Those things go eight miles an hour.

What they forget is every time they build a better mousetrap, the mice get smarter, too.

Why don't you kids go play on the freeway?

Say, how much you think my pelvis is worth? -By itself, nothing, so it's a good thing you came to me.

The Fortune Cookie (1966) Sound Clip

Listen to the witty and memorable lines of The Fortune Cookie with our selection of sound clips and quotes from the movie.

Actors: Jack Lemmon (Harry Hinkle), Walter Matthau (Whiplash Willie Gingrich), Ron Rich (Boom Boom Jackson), Judi West (Sandy Hinkle)

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