27 Dry Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips)

Updated: Oct 10, 2025

A selection of dry humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

1 Does it hurt when you get shot? -I sense injuries. The data could be called pain.

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Terminator T 800 in Terminator 2: Judgment Day

2 50-50. -You happy? -No. -You happy? -No! -Deal!

Robert De Niro as Don Lino in Shark Tale

3 We'll meet at the crossroads and no double-crossing!

Richard Percy Jones as Pinocchio in Pinocchio (1940)

4 Sorry, miss, I was giving myself an oil job.

Marvin Miller as Robby The Robot in Forbidden Planet (1956)

5 You want anything? Something for your feet? -How about a saw?

Jane Fonda as Gloria Beatty in They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

6 Don't act dumb! -I'm not acting!

Alyssa Milano as Marian Delario in Double Dragon (1994)

7 How many languages do you speak? -A lot. But apparently, not enough for this place.

Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark in Iron Man (2008)

8 Anything I can get for you? Juice? Coffee? Rack of lamb?

Larry Miller as Dean Richmond in The Nutty Professor (1996)

9 Let's compromise. Supposing we leave just a couple of things behind? -Right. Two wives.

Allan Lane as Mister Ed in Mister Ed

10 Almost nothing in the poor box. -But we took it anyway.

Eli Wallach as Calvera in The Magnificent Seven (1960)

27 Dry Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips)

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