Jean Shepherd: 14 Movie Quotes with Audio

Movie quotes delivered by Jean Shepherd, ranked by user ratings. Listen online or download free MP3 and WAV clips.

1 Santa! Yeah, I'll ask Santa. -Of course. Santa. The big man. The head honcho. The connection.

Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker; Jean Shepherd as adult Ralphie in A Christmas Story (1983)

2 Life is like that. Sometimes at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at its zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us.

Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker; Jean Shepherd as adult Ralphie in A Christmas Story (1983)

3 Oh, no, it was the classic mother BB-gun block: You'll shoot your eye out.

Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker; Jean Shepherd as adult Ralphie in A Christmas Story (1983)

4 Well, preparing to go to school was like getting ready for extended deep-sea diving.

Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker; Jean Shepherd as adult Ralphie in A Christmas Story (1983)

5 We knew darn well it was always better not to get caught.

Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker; Jean Shepherd as adult Ralphie in A Christmas Story (1983)

6 Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.

Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker; Jean Shepherd as adult Ralphie in A Christmas Story (1983)

7 Every family has a kid who won't eat.

Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker; Jean Shepherd as adult Ralphie in A Christmas Story (1983)

8 I slowly began to realize I was not about to be destroyed.

Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker; Jean Shepherd as adult Ralphie in A Christmas Story (1983)

9 Now, it is well-known throughout the Midwest that the old man is a turkey junkie.

Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker; Jean Shepherd as adult Ralphie in A Christmas Story (1983)

10 They looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.

Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker; Jean Shepherd as adult Ralphie in A Christmas Story (1983)