Matthew Perry: 35 Movie Quotes with Audio

Movie quotes delivered by Matthew Perry, ranked by user ratings. Listen online or download free MP3 and WAV clips.

1 Faster, man, faster! But not too fast! As much haste as possible while maintaining a tolerable level of comfort.

As Leslie Edwards in Almost Heroes (1998)

2 Rest assured, in 20 years or so, the ravages of old age will deal with the bear far more cruelly than we ever could have.

As Leslie Edwards in Almost Heroes (1998)

3 You realize, of course, this woman of yours is made of straw. -Oh, yes, sir. I figure that's why she burned so easy.

As Leslie Edwards in Almost Heroes (1998)

4 These bears are wild, mind you, not trained carnival bears with... little hats.

As Leslie Edwards in Almost Heroes (1998)

5 I believe those pigs would prefer their privacy.

As Leslie Edwards in Almost Heroes (1998)

6 Unfortunately, as you can see, the boats have been fully loaded, and we haven't even taken on my hats and tea service.

As Leslie Edwards in Almost Heroes (1998)

7 President Jefferson, I implore you. If we do not give bears the right to vote, they will rise up. And bears will be in congress, and we will be the ones performing in carnivals wearing little hats.

As Leslie Edwards in Almost Heroes (1998)

8 You there, fingering that stomach wound, stand up and tell us a little about yourself.

As Leslie Edwards in Almost Heroes (1998)

9 Yes, I shall refrain as well. I've made a solemn promise to someone. -Really? -Yes, I promised my doctor I wouldn't engage in that sort of thing.

As Leslie Edwards in Almost Heroes (1998)

10 Got a drippy dong, eh? -No. No more than normal. It drips when it should, and it doesn't when it shouldn't.

Matthew Perry as Leslie Edwards; Eugene Levy as Guy Fontenot in Almost Heroes (1998)