Phil Silvers: 11 Movie Quotes with Audio

Movie quotes delivered by Phil Silvers, ranked by user ratings. Listen online or download free MP3 and WAV clips.

1 Oh, my dear and noble neighbors, my deepest apologies. Since moving in next door, I'm afraid I've been remiss in not calling to pay my respects.

As Marcus Lycus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

2 If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times: Do not fan the girls when they're wet. But you'll never learn. You'll be a eunuch all your life.

As Marcus Lycus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

3 Crete? Do not touch me. Do not breathe on me. The plague, the plague!

As Marcus Lycus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

4 A new god, but a very hard worker.

As Marcus Lycus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

5 Take those glasses off and I'll pop you in the nose. -Oh, yeah? Well, don't let that stop you. I don't need the glasses. I... Where is everybody? Hey, where are you, fellas?

Phil Silvers as Waiter; William Demarest in All Through the Night (1942)

6 Consider the gemini, a matched pair. Look at them, gentlemen. Either one, a divinely assembled woman. Together, an infinite number of mathematical possibilities.

As Marcus Lycus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

7 Is... is it contagious? -Did you ever see a plague that wasn't?

Zero Mostel as Pseudolus; Phil Silvers as Marcus Lycus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

8 Go, go, go, get a move on. Go. Don't touch that pillar. Go, go. Mind your breathing. Just inhale. Go, go.

As Marcus Lycus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

9 There's no plague on Crete. -No plague? No one lying around smiling themselves to death? -It's the healthiest isle in the world.

As Marcus Lycus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

10 I'm not happy in my work, captain.

As Marcus Lycus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum