But if I am mistaken, if the lieutenant is indeed a woman as she claims to be... then, my friend she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen.

— Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey)

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ace ventura funny quotes about women insults for her jim carrey

17 seconds sound clip from the Ace Ventura: Pet Detective movie soundboard.

You can hear this line at 01:18:23 in the Blu-ray version of the movie.

Quote context

[...]

- Psst. Psst. Ace. Come here.

- Would you excuse me for just one second?

- Ladies and gentlemen my esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention.

- Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time.

- But if I am mistaken, if the lieutenant is indeed a woman as she claims to be... then, my friend she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen.

- That's why Roger Podacter is dead.

- He found Captain Winkie.

- Good night, everybody. You've been a wonderful audience. I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress.

- Die, animal boy.

- Quick decision.

[...]

Top rated lines from this movie

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If I have to tear this Universe another black hole, I'm going to find it. I've got to, mister.

A magical afternoon where dreams are made and crushed.

Be careful with that phone. In time, you could develop a tumor.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Sound Clip

Sound clips of funny quotes, famous lines and sound effects from the Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) movie soundboard that you can use as ringtones. All audio samples can be downloaded in .mp3 format.

Actors: Jim Carrey (Ace Ventura), Courteney Cox (Melissa Robinson), Sean Young (Lt. Lois Einhorn / Ray Finkle), Tone Loc (Emilio), Dan Marino

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