401 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 22

Updated: May 26, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

211 In his belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering, as you are slowly digested over 1000 years.

Anthony Daniels as C 3po in Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

212 There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know. -You're going to die here, you know. Convenient.

Harrison Ford as Han Solo; Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

213 If I killed my nephew, would that be murder or charity?

Christopher Plummer as The Grand Duke Of Owls in Rock-a-Doodle

214 There's plenty of food to go around when the food is you. -Who, me? -Yes, you.

Quote from Rock-a-Doodle

215 It's his birthday. He always shoots a sheriff on his birthday. He's already shot 34 sheriffs. -How old is he today? -35.

Quote from Snagglepuss (1961)

216 Stop! For the sake of show business. Stop and get shot!

Quote from Snagglepuss (1961)

217 Ist you all good little Nazis? -Jawohl. -Ist you all good little Adolfs? -Jawohl.

Quote from Stalag 17 (1953)

218 While in the Army, did you have any experience in procurement? -No. -Purchasing of supplies, materials? -I didn't do any of that. I just dropped bombs.

Dana Andrews as Fred Derry in The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)

219 What's that a picture of? -Bomb hits on Düsseldorf. Oh, that's my B-17.

Dana Andrews as Fred Derry; Virginia Mayo as Marie Derry in The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)

220 I'm underground? -Yes, dearie, three feet under. I dug it myself with my own two hands.

Jodi Benson as Thumbelina; Carol Channing as Ms. Fieldmouse in Thumbelina (1994)