291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 21

Updated: Sep 11, 2025

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

201 If I killed my nephew, would that be murder or charity?

Christopher Plummer as The Grand Duke of Owls in Rock-a-Doodle

202 There's plenty of food to go around when the food is you. -Who, me? -Yes, you.

Quote from Rock-a-Doodle

203 It's his birthday. He always shoots a sheriff on his birthday. He's already shot 34 sheriffs. -How old is he today? -35.

Quote from Snagglepuss (1961)

204 Stop! For the sake of show business. Stop and get shot!

Quote from Snagglepuss (1961)

205 Mr. Management, what are you trying to do? Embalm us while we're still alive?

Harvey Lembeck as Harry Shapiro in Stalag 17 (1953)

206 Ist you all good little Nazis? -Jawohl. -Ist you all good little Adolfs? -Jawohl.

Quote from Stalag 17 (1953)

207 While in the Army, did you have any experience in procurement? -No. -Purchasing of supplies, materials? -I didn't do any of that. I just dropped bombs.

Dana Andrews as Fred Derry in The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)

208 What's that a picture of? -Bomb hits on Düsseldorf. Oh, that's my B-17.

Quote from The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)

209 I'm underground? -Yes, dearie, three feet under. I dug it myself with my own two hands.

Quote from Thumbelina (1994)

210 He looks dead. -Dead? Dead, schmed! What difference does it make?

Gilbert Gottfried as Berkeley Beetle in Thumbelina (1994)