337 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 21

Updated: Jan 15, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

201 Well, Greek, you have taught me what wine is. Polyphemus shall reward you. In gratitude, I shall eat you last of all.

Polyphemus From The Odyssey in Ulysses (1954)

202 How about some paint thinner? -No, that'll kill him. Anything else? -Hair tonic, forty percent alcohol. Fine.

Cornel Wilde as Leonard Diamond in The Big Combo (1955)

203 If they take you to police headquarters... shoot yourself in the head. It'll make everything a lot simpler. Now get out!

Richard Conte as Mr. Brown in The Big Combo (1955)

204 Look, lepers! Lepers! Go away! Get away! Stay away! Go away!

Charlton Heston as Judah Ben-Hur in Ben-Hur (1959)

205 Oh, dear. His High Exaltedness, the great Jabba the Hutt, has decreed that you are to be terminated immediately. -Good. I hate long waits.

Harrison Ford as Han Solo; Anthony Daniels as C 3po in Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

206 In his belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering, as you are slowly digested over 1000 years.

Anthony Daniels as C 3po in Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

207 There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know. -You're going to die here, you know. Convenient.

Harrison Ford as Han Solo; Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

208 If I killed my nephew, would that be murder or charity?

Christopher Plummer as The Grand Duke Of Owls in Rock-a-Doodle

209 There's plenty of food to go around when the food is you. -Who, me? -Yes, you.

Glen Campbell as Chanticleer in Rock-a-Doodle

210 It's his birthday. He always shoots a sheriff on his birthday. He's already shot 34 sheriffs. -How old is he today? -35.

Daws Butler as Snagglepuss in Snagglepuss (1961)

337 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 21

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