291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 20

Updated: Sep 11, 2025

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

191 That's why I have a coffin ready. So your body won't be eaten by dogs and left around. -You're too optimistic.

Quote from The Deadly Breaking Sword (1979)

192 Tell me something. Is it also true that every time you kill someone, that your sword is shortened by about an inch? -You're quite correct.

Quote from The Deadly Breaking Sword (1979)

193 But he should not be allowed to fight. -Why not? A good strong crack on the head might be most healing. Might even restore his memory.

Nausicaa in Ulysses (1954)

194 Well, Greek, you have taught me what wine is. Polyphemus shall reward you. In gratitude, I shall eat you last of all.

Polyphemus in Ulysses (1954)

195 How about some paint thinner? -No, that'll kill him. Anything else? -Hair tonic, forty percent alcohol. Fine.

Quote from The Big Combo (1955)

196 If they take you to police headquarters... shoot yourself in the head. It'll make everything a lot simpler. Now get out!

Richard Conte as Mr. Brown in The Big Combo (1955)

197 Look, lepers! Lepers! Go away! Get away! Stay away! Go away!

Quote from Ben-Hur (1959)

198 Oh, dear. His High Exaltedness, the great Jabba the Hutt, has decreed that you are to be terminated immediately. -Good. I hate long waits.

Quote from Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

199 In his belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering, as you are slowly digested over 1000 years.

Anthony Daniels as C 3po in Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

200 There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know. -You're going to die here, you know. Convenient.