309 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 20

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A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

191 Who ever said, getting there is half the fun should be drug out into the street and shot.

Lorenzo Music as Garfield in Garfield in Paradise

192 We gotta get the money. Right now I'd do anything for money. I'd kill somebody for money. I'd kill you for money. Oh, no, you're my friend. I kill you for nothin'.

Chico Marx as Chico in The Cocoanuts (1929)

193 Are you sure your husband's dead? -Why, yes. -There seems to be a trace of uncertainty in that yes. You know, a yes like that was once responsible for me jumping out of a window. And I'm not the jumper I used to be.

Groucho Marx as Mr. Hammer in The Cocoanuts (1929)

194 That's why I have a coffin ready. So your body won't be eaten by dogs and left around. -You're too optimistic.

Quote from The Deadly Breaking Sword (1979)

195 Tell me something. Is it also true that every time you kill someone, that your sword is shortened by about an inch? -You're quite correct.

Quote from The Deadly Breaking Sword (1979)

196 But he should not be allowed to fight. -Why not? A good strong crack on the head might be most healing. Might even restore his memory.

Nausicaa From The Odyssey in Ulysses (1954)

197 Well, Greek, you have taught me what wine is. Polyphemus shall reward you. In gratitude, I shall eat you last of all.

Polyphemus From The Odyssey in Ulysses (1954)

198 How about some paint thinner? -No, that'll kill him. Anything else? -Hair tonic, forty percent alcohol. Fine.

Cornel Wilde as Leonard Diamond in The Big Combo (1955)

199 If they take you to police headquarters... shoot yourself in the head. It'll make everything a lot simpler. Now get out!

Richard Conte as Mr. Brown in The Big Combo (1955)

200 Look, lepers! Lepers! Go away! Get away! Stay away! Go away!

Charlton Heston as Judah Ben-Hur in Ben-Hur (1959)

309 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 20

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