23 Funny Quotes About Coffee from Movies (+ Audio Clips)

Updated: May 6, 2026

A collection of funny quotes about coffee from movies, complete with audio samples in mp3 & wav formats — great for ringtones or laughs.

1 Well, this coffee tastes like rocket fuel. -Then it's not coffee. It's tea.

George O'Hanlon as George Jetson; Penny Singleton as Jane Jetson in The Jetsons

2 Give me coffee. Black coffee. Lots of it. More, more, more! Blacker, stronger. Keep it comin'!

Thomas Mitchell as Doc Boone in Stagecoach (1939)

3 Cream? -No, thank you. I take it black. Like my men.

Quote from Airplane (1980)

4 Look. I'm a little slow today. I just switched to Sanka, so have a heart.

Vincent Schiavelli as Mr. Vargas in Fast Times at Ridgemont High

5 Oh, _. Coffee. Looks like it's been scraped off the bottom of the Mississippi River.

Paul Gleason as Richard Vernon in The Breakfast Club

6 Alright alright. Let's go downstairs and drink a gallon of coffee and see which one sleeps the longest.

Linda Darnell as Betty in Christmas in July (1944)

7 Hey, would you gentleman like to have some instant coffee? -We'd like to have an instant decision.

Walter Matthau as Whiplash Willie Gingrich in The Fortune Cookie (1966)

8 The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, calf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc.

Tom Hanks as Joe Fox in You've Got Mail

9 Coffee service coming through. Please watch your step. Hot coffee.

Quote from Short Circuit (1986)

10 Have some coffee and cake... Have some!

Delroy Lindo as Captain Wanta in Congo (1995)