211 Funny Quotes About Family from Movies (+ Audio Clips) - page 9

Updated: Jan 11, 2026

A collection of funny quotes about family from movies, complete with audio samples in mp3 & wav formats — great for ringtones or laughs.

81 Our parents are having a baby, too. -They had sex.

Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams; Jimmy Workman as Pugsley Addams in Addams Family Values

82 Is your wife okay, sir? -Compared to what?

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Detective John Kimble in Kindergarten Cop

83 I'm glad to hear you two arguing. For a moment, I was wondering if you were a normal married couple.

Allan Lane as Mister Ed in Mister Ed

84 Oh, hello. I didn't recognize you without your wife in your arms. Come in.

Allan Lane as Mister Ed in Mister Ed

85 Well, that's what keeps married couples together: separate-ness.

Allan Lane as Mister Ed in Mister Ed

86 The last time my husband kissed me was New Years Eve, 1946. In the dark, he thought I was the cigarette girl.

Allan Lane as Mister Ed in Mister Ed

87 Let's compromise. Supposing we leave just a couple of things behind? -Right. Two wives.

Allan Lane as Mister Ed in Mister Ed

88 Oh, forget it. And look at it this way: You haven't lost a wife, you've gained a stablemate.

Wilbur From Mr. Ed in Mister Ed

89 Say, boy, I wouldn't let my mother-in-law boss me around like that. Stand up to her like a man. Face her down, boy. Huh. If it was me, I'd tell her what was on my chest.

John Wayne as Breck Coleman in The Big Trail (1930)

90 Now, Aunt Billy, how many times I told you not to call here and interrupt my kung fu?

Michael Jai White as Black Dynamite in Black Dynamite