Graham Chapman: 41 Movie Quotes with Audio

Movie quotes delivered by Graham Chapman, ranked by user ratings. Listen online or download free MP3 and WAV clips.

1 'Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.'

In Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

2 He was a centurion in the Jerusalem garrison, sir. -Really? What was his name? -Naughtius Maximus.

In Monty Python's Life of Brian

3 When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in 1517, he may not have realized the full significance of what he was doing, but 400 years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas.

In Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

4 Is it a boy or a girl? -I think it's a little early to start imposing roles on it, don't you?

In Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

5 Which brings us, once again, to the urgent realization of just how much there is still left to own.

In Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

6 Siblings, let us not be down on it. One total catastrophe like this... is just the beginning! Their glorious deaths shall unite us all!

In Monty Python's Life of Brian

7 I'm not a Roman, Mum! And I never will be! I'm a kike, a Yid, a hebe, a hooknose! I'm kosher, Mum! I'm a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud of it!

In Monty Python's Life of Brian

8 Well, the birds, then. -What birds? -Any birds. -Why? -Well, have they got jobs? -Who? -The birds.

In Monty Python's Life of Brian

9 Look, you've got it all wrong. You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody. You've got to think for yourselves. You're all individuals.

In Monty Python's Life of Brian

10 Listen, if you wanted to join the P.F.J., you'd have to really hate the Romans. -I do. -Oh, yeah? How much? -A lot. -Right. You're in.

Graham Chapman; John Cleese in Monty Python's Life of Brian