John Cleese Movie Quotes & Lines – 96 Classics (+ Audio)

Updated: Mar 1, 2025

Find and rate the best quotes by John Cleese, selected from famous or less known movies, as rated by our community, featuring short sound clips in MP3 and WAV formats.

1 But the gourmet in me quivers at the thought of mouse tartar.

As Cat R. Waul in An American Tail: Fievel Goes West

2 You cheesy lot of second-hand, electric donkey-bottom biters!

As Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

3 Which would you rather have, the crouton or the entire Caesar salad?

As Cat R. Waul in An American Tail: Fievel Goes West

4 Remember, if anything happens to her, I'll have you whipped, flogged, put on the rack, and then have your back legs fried in butter!

As Jean Bob in The Swan Princess

5 I'm French. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king?

As Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

6 Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide. It's a killer!

As Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

7 Shut up! Shut up, you American. You always talk, you Americans. You talk and you talk and you say, 'Let me tell you something' and 'I just wanna say this.'

John Cleese in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

8 And don't apologize. Every time I talk to someone it's sorry this, and, forgive me that, and, I'm not worthy.

As Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

9 I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed, animal food-trough wiper.

As Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

10 I fart in your general direction.

As Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

John Cleese Movie Quotes & Lines – 96 Classics (+ Audio)

1 But the gourmet in me quivers at the thought of mouse tartar.

2 You cheesy lot of second-hand, electric donkey-bottom biters!

3 Which would you rather have, the crouton or the entire Caesar salad?

4 Remember, if anything happens to her, I'll have you whipped, flogged, put on the rack, and then have your back legs fried in butter!

5 I'm French. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king?

6 Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide. It's a killer!

7 Shut up! Shut up, you American. You always talk, you Americans. You talk and you talk and you say, 'Let me tell you something' and 'I just wanna say this.'

8 And don't apologize. Every time I talk to someone it's sorry this, and, forgive me that, and, I'm not worthy.

9 I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed, animal food-trough wiper.

10 I fart in your general direction.

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