John Cleese Movie Quotes & Lines – 96 Classics (+ Audio) - page 2

Updated: Mar 1, 2025

Find and rate the best quotes by John Cleese, selected from famous or less known movies, as rated by our community, featuring short sound clips in MP3 and WAV formats.

11 Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.

As Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

12 You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms.

As Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

13 Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man... -Or woman. -Why don't you shut up about women? You're putting us off.

John Cleese in Monty Python's Life of Brian

14 Listen, if you wanted to join the P.F.J., you'd have to really hate the Romans. -I do. -Oh, yeah? How much? -A lot. -Right. You're in.

15 Are you with us? -Yes. -From now on you shall be called Brian that is called Brian.

John Cleese in Monty Python's Life of Brian

16 Stabbed? Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours. It's a slow, horrible death. -Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

John Cleese in Monty Python's Life of Brian

17 Hail Messiah! -I'm not the Messiah. -I say you are, Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.

John Cleese in Monty Python's Life of Brian

18 Those possessed by devils, try and keep them under control a bit.

John Cleese in Monty Python's Life of Brian

19 Now did I or did I not do vaginal juices? -Yes, sir.

John Cleese in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

20 A tiger? -A tiger? -A tiger in Africa? -Hmm? -A tiger in Africa? -Ah, well, it's probably escaped from a zoo. -Doesn't sound very likely to me.

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