What are you, my marriage counselor? If I want any advice, I'll write to Dear Abby.

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8 seconds sound clip from the The Fortune Cookie (1966) movie soundboard.

You can hear this line at 01:27:22 in the Blu-ray version of the movie.

Quote context

[...]

- Why don't you kids go play on the freeway?

- I said, how's our boy?

- He's wonderful. Everything's wonderful. Like old times.

- We just had dinner, and we're about to go to bed.

- Let me talk to him.

- Look, Harry, if I were you, I'd forget it. Oh, come on, I know what's going through your mind, but this is not the time or the place.

- What are you, my marriage counselor? If I want any advice, I'll write to Dear Abby.

- Okay, Harry, it's your neck. But if you're going to do something foolish, just remember to show your good profile, because you are on Candid Camera!

- Oh, children! Watch it!

- Harry, are you all right?

- I'll have one more of these.

- What do you mean, sorry?

- The management reserves the right to refuse service to anyone.

- I own this joint.

- But you appointed me the manager, and I say no.

- Cut that out, Pop. I need it.

[...]

Top rated lines from this movie

A man says he's paralyzed, we simply throw him in the snake pit. If he climbs out, then we know he's lying. -And if he doesn't climb out? -Then we have lost a patient, but we have found an honest man.

Hey, fasten your seat belt. Those things go eight miles an hour.

Well, you know what they say, Blondes have more fun. -Yeah, because there's always some sucker to pay for it.

You'll be careful, won't you, Doc? -I'd better be because I'm on parole.

Shouldn't handicapped have two p's? -Two p's? I typed it myself, trying to save a little money. After all, it's a nonprofit organization.

The Fortune Cookie (1966) Sound Clip

Listen to the witty and memorable lines of The Fortune Cookie with our selection of sound clips and quotes from the movie.

Actors: Jack Lemmon (Harry Hinkle), Walter Matthau (Whiplash Willie Gingrich), Ron Rich (Boom Boom Jackson), Judi West (Sandy Hinkle)

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