18 Movie Quotes about Undertakers (+ Sound Clips)

Memorable quotes about undertakers, selected from famous or less known movies by Movie-Sounds.org's visitors, accompanied by short mp3 and wav audio samples.

1 Scarier than the undertaker, we are meeting our matchmaker.

Quote from Mulan (1998)

2 Who's the man you delivered the bodies to? -The undertaker. -What undertaker? -Our undertaker. He worked for us exclusive.

Humphrey Bogart as Dist. Atty. Martin Ferguson in The Enforcer (1951)

3 What's the difference? He's not going to talk to anybody except maybe a fish. Or the undertaker.

Daniel Stern as Marv in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

4 That luscious tan, those ruby lips and hair color so natural, only your undertaker knows for sure.

Jack Nicholson as Jack Napier - The Joker; The Joker in Batman (1989)

5 Oh, yes, my dear. Your hotel bores me. The headwaiter looks like an undertaker and every time I step into this apartment it looks more like a funeral parlor.

Hedy Lamarr as Gaby in Algiers

6 Marry an undertaker, marry a blackjack dealer, marry a pickpocket, but never marry a newspaperman. -That's why I'm making him quit.

Walter Matthau as Walter Burns; Susan Sarandon as Peggy Grant in The Front Page (1974)

7 How many bodies do you think we'll find? -I'm afraid to guess. Any outfit that has its own undertaker is operating on a pretty big scale.

Humphrey Bogart as Dist. Atty. Martin Ferguson in The Enforcer (1951)

8 But you won't enjoy any of that money, not a penny. If there's justice in the world, that money will go to the undertakers. Every penny of it.

Quote from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

9 My father had a thriving undertaking business until you proceeded to get ahold of it and run it into the ground!

Quote from The Comedy of Terrors

10 Fellow citizens of Fort Savage, you've all seen me in various capacities, such as horse doctor, human doctor, dentist, barber, undertaker, and so on.

Quote from Flaming Feather (1952)