That's funny, 'cause my mom used to say that to me if she caught me doing stuff. Like one time, I was jerkin' my gherkin. Can I say that? And she goes, Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back?

— Joe Dirt (David Spade)

david spadejoe dirtmasturbation

11 seconds sound clip from the Joe Dirt (2001) movie soundboard.

You can hear this line at 00:04:50 in the Blu-ray version of the movie.

Quote context

[...]

- You trying to tell me you've been on your own since eight years old?

- Pretty much, man. It's a long story, actually.

- Listen to you. What's the story here? I'm a white-trash idiot. The end.

- Hey, is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back, man? Making fun of poor little Joe Dirt?

- Probably, because I'm sure Yahweh would be chiming in, too.

- That's funny, 'cause my mom used to say that to me if she caught me doing stuff. Like one time, I was jerkin' my gherkin. Can I say that? And she goes, Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back?

- She sounds like a real winner, and it's amazing to me that you turned out like you did with that sort of, uh, mentoring.

- Hey, man, I... I can't say don't make fun of me, but you really shouldn't make fun of my mom.

- Hey, you guys, you gotta come hear this guy on the Zander show.

- Listen. You're on your own. The family's ditched you. What happens next?

[...]

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