67 Movie Quotes about Masturbation with AudioUpdated: Jul 18, 2026Browse clips, ranked by user ratings. Listen online or download free MP3 and WAV clips. 1 You know, sometimes when I'm alone, I relate to myself. Eddie Murphy as Sherman Klump; Grandma Klump in The Nutty Professor (1996) 2 Get out of here! If I ever catch you whackin' in here again, I'm gonna hog-tie you! Mike Judge as Beavis, Butt-Head; Tom Anderson in Beavis and Butt-Head Do America 3 If you are feeling quiggly, why not just have a J. Arthur? Mike Myers as Austin Powers in Austin Powers in Goldmember 4 What, Billy No-Mates? Michael Caine as Nigel Powers in Austin Powers in Goldmember 5 I'm just like a little boy, playing with his _ when he's nervous. Robert Downey Jr. as Kirk Lazarus in Tropic Thunder (2008) 6 It's all in the wrists. Jeff Bridges as Kevin Flynn in TRON (1982) 7 Housekeeping. You want me jerk you off? David Spade as Richard in Tommy Boy (1995) 8 Favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to. -Good Housekeeping. John C. Reilly as Dale Doback; Will Ferrell as Brennan Huff in Step Brothers (2008) 9 How are your wrists? Are they real strong? Quote from 36th Chamber of Shaolin 10 Oh, Lord! Do we have the strength to carry on this mighty task in one night? Or are we just jerking off? Quote from Blazing Saddles (1974) Page 1 of 7 1 2 3 ► >>