67 Movie Quotes about Masturbation with Audio – Page 3

Updated: Jul 18, 2026

Browse clips, ranked by user ratings. Listen online or download free MP3 and WAV clips.

21 You wanna be alone so you can shake hands with ben Franklin, huh? You know, polish the pewter.

Chris Farley as Bartholomew Hunt in Almost Heroes (1998)

22 Polish the pewter? Why, Jonah does that for me. -Yeah, right.

Matthew Perry as Leslie Edwards in Almost Heroes (1998)

23 Let us get back to masturbation. Did your father ever catch you in the act?

Quote from The Front Page (1974)

24 You know why he stopped writing books. Because he masturbates.

Quote from Field of Dreams (1989)

25 Will I see you in group tonight? We'll be talking about masturbation. -No, I don't think so. I think I've had enough learning for the time being. Thank you. Thank you.

Kathy Bates as Evelyn Couch in Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)

26 I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day. Once in the morning right after I work out, then once right after lunch.

Matthew McConaughey as Mark Hanna in The Wolf of Wall Street

27 Masturbating in the man's camper... We're dealing with two sick individuals.

Robert Stack as Agent Flemming in Beavis and Butt-Head Do America

28 You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags. -Yeah, I got them from the '70s, '80s and '90s. It's like masturbating in a time machine.

John C. Reilly as Dale Doback; Will Ferrell as Brennan Huff in Step Brothers (2008)

29 Did you ever bop your baloney?

Quote from Vacation (1983)

30 I did it! I just jerked it completely off! I did it all by myself! With this hand right here!

Sacha Baron Cohen as Admiral General Aladeen in The Dictator (2012)