65 Movie Quotes about Masturbation (+ Sound Clips) - page 3

Updated: Sep 1, 2025

Memorable quotes about masturbation, selected from famous or less known movies and other sources by Movie-Sounds.org's visitors, accompanied by short mp3 and wav audio samples.

21 She taught me all about foreplay. Until then, I ain't never done foreplay before. But then again, who needs foreplay when you're jackin' off?

Shawn Wayans as Ashtray in Don't Be a Menace

22 How's your hands? Let me see. You've hurt 'em again. You can't keep on doing this.

Quote from Savage Killers

23 You wanna be alone so you can shake hands with ben Franklin, huh? You know, polish the pewter.

Chris Farley as Bartholomew Hunt in Almost Heroes (1998)

24 Polish the pewter? Why, Jonah does that for me. -Yeah, right.

Matthew Perry in Almost Heroes (1998)

25 Let us get back to masturbation. Did your father ever catch you in the act?

Quote from The Front Page (1974)

26 You know why he stopped writing books. Because he masturbates.

Quote from Field of Dreams (1989)

27 Masturbating in the man's camper... We're dealing with two sick individuals.

Robert Stack as Agent Flemming in Beavis and Butt-Head Do America

28 I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day. Once in the morning right after I work out, then once right after lunch.

Matthew McConaughey as Mark Hanna in The Wolf of Wall Street

29 You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags. -Yeah, I got them from the '70s, '80s and '90s. It's like masturbating in a time machine.

Quote from Step Brothers (2008)

30 Did you ever bop your baloney?

Quote from Vacation (1983)