- May I help you, sir?
- Yes. I came to arrange about a funeral.
- Is the funeral for yourself?
- I beg your pardon? No.
- I thought you might have come for pre-need counseling. Many of our friends like to plan ahead.

— Dennis Barlow (Robert Morse)

dark humorevelyn waughfuneralsplansrobert morse

19 seconds sound clip from the The Loved One (1965) movie soundboard.

You can hear this line at 00:29:09 in the Blu-ray version of the movie.

Quote context

[...]

- Prices on inquiry at the administration office. Drive on up the road.

- Where grief became gladness, where sorrow became the mewing of tiny kittens, and splash of precious duck babies at play.

- And a voice came unto me and said: 'Go forth and realize your dream.'

- And so did I obey and build for all eternity this Whispering Glades.

- Stranger, enter these gates and be happy.

- May I help you, sir?

- Yes. I came to arrange about a funeral.

- Is the funeral for yourself?

- I beg your pardon? No.

- I thought you might have come for pre-need counseling. Many of our friends like to plan ahead.

- Was your loved one a relative?

- Yes. He was my uncle.

- In that case, he must have been Caucasian.

- Certainly not, no. He was English.

- We prefer that word at Whispering Glades. It's much less offensive than white.

- Oh, well... I can assure you that he was quite white.

[...]

Top rated lines from this movie

However, look, we can offer you a special new service, whereby the remains are placed inside a rocket, and fired into space.
Above the love of the flesh, dear brethren, there is a higher love, a purer love, a Fuller love, a love which can only be described as true love.
Which service have you decided on? -Well, I don't know. -We can give you entombment, empyrement, dissemination, or eternalization. -I don't know what the hell you're talking about. -That would be embalmed, buried, scattered, or burned.
They told me you were hung... With red protruding eyeballs... And black protruding tongue.
You know, some people think of death as a negative thing, but you see how wrong they are, don't you? What could be more beautiful and more thrilling than eternal rest?

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