That's funny, 'cause my mom used to say that to me if she caught me doing stuff. Like one time, I was jerkin' my gherkin. Can I say that? And she goes, Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back?

— Joe Dirt (David Spade)

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david spade joe dirt masturbation

11 seconds sound clip from the Joe Dirt (2001) movie soundboard.

You can hear this line at 00:04:50 in the Blu-ray version of the movie.

Quote context

[...]

- You trying to tell me you've been on your own since eight years old?

- Pretty much, man. It's a long story, actually.

- Listen to you. What's the story here? I'm a white-trash idiot. The end.

- Hey, is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back, man? Making fun of poor little Joe Dirt?

- Probably, because I'm sure Yahweh would be chiming in, too.

- That's funny, 'cause my mom used to say that to me if she caught me doing stuff. Like one time, I was jerkin' my gherkin. Can I say that? And she goes, Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back?

- She sounds like a real winner, and it's amazing to me that you turned out like you did with that sort of, uh, mentoring.

- Hey, man, I... I can't say don't make fun of me, but you really shouldn't make fun of my mom.

- Hey, you guys, you gotta come hear this guy on the Zander show.

- Listen. You're on your own. The family's ditched you. What happens next?

- I mean, do you really care? It's actually not an easy story to tell.

[...]

Top rated lines from this movie

You see that moon? You don't know how many nights I spent alone staring at that moon wondering if at that exact moment, my mom or my dad was looking at the same moon. And for that brief second, we were together again, kind of, you know?

No, man, but you gotta keep going. What am I gonna do, quit? That's not an option. You got to keep on keepin' on.

This is a business. This is not a charity. Maybe one day UNICEF will get into the impound business. But until then, we're the people to see.

Well, that might be your problem. It's not what you like. It's the consumer.

Life's a garden, dig it? You make it work for you. You never give up, man. That's my philosophy.

Joe Dirt (2001) Sound Clip

Sound bites of the most famous lines, funny voice quotes, and the best sound fx from the movie Joe Dirt movie soundboard. All waveform audio samples are in wav and mp3 format.

Actors: David Spade (Joe Dirt), Brittany Daniel (Brandy), Dennis Miller (Zander Kelly), Christopher Walken (Clem)

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