401 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 25

Updated: May 26, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

241 If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next. After that he'll tell you if he wears ladies' underwear.

Harvey Keitel as Mister White in Reservoir Dogs (1992)

242 This was the worst night of my life. I've had nightmares that looked like birthday parties compared to tonight.

Lorenzo Music as Garfield in Garfield's Halloween Adventure (1985)

243 Enjoy the Horrorathon, Doctor. And don't forget to watch the big giveaway afterwards.

Dan O'Herlihy as Conal Cochran in Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

244 Heavens! I thought you were dead. -So I am, old man, as dead as a stymie.

Quote from Dead of Night (1945)

245 Oh, man! Live ones smell worse than the dead ones.

Kevin Bacon as Val in Tremors (1990)

246 So what if we make it to the rocks? We'll be dead in three days anyway. -Well, I wanna live for the three days.

Fred Ward as Earl; Kevin Bacon as Val in Tremors (1990)

247 Of course. We'll see that you have a ringside seat for the destruction of the planet Earth. -Thanks!

Quote from The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars

248 Shooting stopped. I guess we missed the robbery. -You can't have everything.

James Brolin as John Blane in Westworld (1973)

249 Jenna, let's go celebrate. I know where all the bones are buried.

Jim Cummings as Steele in Balto (1995)

250 I have six months left to live. -You're just trying to make me feel better.

Michael Rispoli as Joe Fusco Jr.; Sandra Bullock as Lucy Eleanor Moderatz in While You Were Sleeping (1995)