337 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 26

Updated: Jan 15, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

251 Any skeletons in the closet? -You mean to say Julia hasn't told you about Grandfather? -No.

Cary Grant as Johnny Case; Katharine Hepburn as Linda Seton in Holiday (1938)

252 Case, compared to the life I lead, the last man in a chain gang thoroughly enjoys himself.

Katharine Hepburn as Linda Seton in Holiday (1938)

253 You know, this reminds me a little of the palace of the Emperor Caligula. You remember Caligula, don't you, dear? -Oh, very well indeed. Whatever became of him?

Edward Everett Horton as Professor Nick Potter in Holiday (1938)

254 Where do you end up? -Where does everybody end up? You die. And that's all right too.

Lew Ayres as Ned; Katharine Hepburn as Linda Seton in Holiday (1938)

255 The leper is back. Hide your liquor.

Ray Milland as Don Birnam in The Lost Weekend (1945)

256 He doesn't know what he's doing. A cigarette might fall from his mouth and he'll burn in his bed...

Jane Wyman as Helen St. James in The Lost Weekend (1945)

257 She went to the hospital. Ruptured appendix. Middle of last night. Went like that! It scared the life out of me. -Oh, that's terrible.

Doris Dowling as Gloria in The Lost Weekend (1945)

258 Why did they put me in the Alcoholic Ward? -Are you kiddin'? We took a peek at your blood. Straight applejack. Ninety-six proof.

Ray Milland as Don Birnam in The Lost Weekend (1945)

259 Listen, I can pick an alky with one eye shut. You're an alky... You'll come back. They all do. Him, for instance, shows up every month, just like the gas bill.

Ray Milland as Don Birnam in The Lost Weekend (1945)

260 See that guy over there? With him it's beetles. Come the night, he sees beetles crawling all over him. Has to be dark, though.

Ray Milland as Don Birnam in The Lost Weekend (1945)

337 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 26

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