291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 27

Updated: Sep 11, 2025

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

261 Oh, if I were as cynical as you, I'd hang myself. -I'd be too cynical to trust the rope.

Humphrey Bogart as Andrew Morton in Knock on Any Door (1949)

262 So you're a fugitive from the laughing house.

Quote from Kiss Me Deadly (1955)

263 Maybe they're trying to kill me! Who do I know that wants to kill me? No, no. It couldn't be my wife. She doesn't drive.

Quote from Curse of the Pink Panther

264 Only party I'll be smiling at is the one that sees you at the end of a rope.

Quote from Back to the Future Part III

265 It's a Derringer, smithy. Small but effective. The last time I used it, fellow took two whole days to die. Bled to death inside. It was real, real painful.

Buford Mad Dog Tannen in Back to the Future Part III

266 It's-a my own chef's salad-a. The Mafia Machiavelli Special. I make-a it with poison ivy, toadstools and poison berries. Oh, it's-a good, no?

Quote from Mad Monster Party? (1967)

267 No, wait, wait! Don't kill yourself. -Who's gonna kill myself? I only said that because I didn't think anyone could hear me.

Quote from Mad Monster Party? (1967)

268 Now, here's a bottle of Ipecac if anybody drinks poison. Its right here, next to the juice glasses. -Fine.

Tom Hanks as Sam Baldwin in Sleepless in Seattle

269 Maybe we should turn ourselves in. Perhaps after swinging, we could get off to a fresh start.

Jim Cummings as Winnie The Pooh in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

270 I was with him till the very end. -Hmm! No wonder he passed away.

Quote from Duck Soup (1933)