Rodney Dangerfield: 84 Movie Quotes with Audio

Updated: Apr 30, 2026

Rodney Dangerfield as Monty in Easy Money (1983)

Listen to the funniest Rodney Dangerfield quotes with instant audio clips (MP3). One click to play—classic lines from Easy Money and more.

1 What do you see in him, anyway? What are you in love with? He's not in your class. He's afraid of the dark. He wets his pants. When he eats, he gets food all over his face. He's a mama's boy. What are you, in nursery school now?

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

2 I tell you, this steak still has marks where the jockey was hitting it.

As Al Czervik in Caddyshack (1980)

3 You got the wrong number. There's nobody home. We're asleep.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

4 I don't know how to sleep. I know how to pass out.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

5 Well, anyway, today I just stick to real estate, you know. With this market these days, if you own anything but land you own a popcorn fart.

As Al Czervik in Caddyshack (1980)

6 What you have to do is change your habits. -Yeah? Who you been talking to? -Mrs. Dugan. She's an expert. She had three husbands. They all died of alcohol. -She's no expert, she's a carrier.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

7 You got a weird sense of humor. You know that? You laugh at everything. Weather reports, car chase. You laugh at everything.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

8 Why can't you forgive and forget? -How could I forget? Every time I sit down, I'll think of him.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

9 What are you talkin' to me about drugs for? I got my daughter here. She's 12 years old.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

10 I'll see you later. And I'm sure you're gonna talk about me when I'm gone.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)