Rodney Dangerfield Movie Quotes & Lines – 62 Classics (+ Audio)

Updated: Feb 2, 2026

Rodney Dangerfield as Monty in Easy Money (1983)

Listen to the funniest Rodney Dangerfield quotes with instant audio clips (MP3). One click to play—classic lines from Easy Money and more.

1 What do you see in him, anyway? What are you in love with? He's not in your class. He's afraid of the dark. He wets his pants. When he eats, he gets food all over his face. He's a mama's boy. What are you, in nursery school now?

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

2 You got the wrong number. There's nobody home. We're asleep.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

3 I don't know how to sleep. I know how to pass out.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

4 What you have to do is change your habits. -Yeah? Who you been talking to? -Mrs. Dugan. She's an expert. She had three husbands. They all died of alcohol. -She's no expert, she's a carrier.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

5 It's unlucky for the bride to wear her gown before the wedding day. -How unlucky can she get, look who she's marrying.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

6 Come on, Rose, will ya? See the guy for what he is. He belongs to a gang. -It's a good boy's gang. They help people.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

7 I don't wanna see her _ing... mother!

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

8 Oh, yeah? Well, I started out as a baby, and today I'm a baby photographer, alright?

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

9 I'll see you later. And I'm sure you're gonna talk about me when I'm gone.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

10 She says I drink too much, I smoke too much, I gamble. She's right, but what am I gonna do? I can't control myself.

As Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)