355 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 28

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A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

271 Boy, you got some nerve still being alive.

Rodney Dangerfield as Monty Capuletti in Easy Money (1983)

272 I run out in the street, hail a cab, and I say to the cabbie: Take me to the middle of the George Washington Bridge. And the cabbie turns around and he says: Don't do it, buddy! You're a young man. You got your whole life ahead of you!

William Holden as Max Schumacher in Network (1976)

273 We could make a series out of it. Suicide of the Week. Hell, why limit ourselves? Execution of the Week.

William Holden as Max Schumacher in Network (1976)

274 I love it. Suicides, assassinations, mad bombers, Mafia hit men, automobile smash-ups... The Death Hour. Great Sunday night show for the whole family. We'll wipe that _in' Disney right off the air.

William Holden as Max Schumacher in Network (1976)

275 Well, if there's anybody out there that can look around this demented slaughterhouse of a world we live in and tell me that man is a noble creature, believe me, that man is full of _.

Peter Finch as Howard Beale in Network (1976)

276 What if it goes and melts down a bus load of nuns? How would you like to write the headline on that? -Nun soup? -Ben!

Fisher Stevens as Ben Jabituya in Short Circuit (1986)

277 It happens every time one of those dancers starts poontangin' around with those show-folk fags.

Burt Reynolds as Bandit in Smokey and the Bandit (1977)

278 Love me... and leave me. That's the story of my life. But it won't happen again, see, since I bought a butcher's knife.

Dashiki in Don't Be a Menace

279 All right. Just don't take too long to die. Be a gent and convenience everybody, and do it soon.

Harry Morgan as Marshal Thibido in The Shootist

280 They ain't dead, is they? -No, dead people don't snore. Or do they?

Edward Brophy as Timothy Q. Mouse in Dumbo (1941)