307 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 28

Updated: Oct 30, 2025

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

271 Speak up! You hear me? Talk! You hear me? Talk! Talk! -Master, they are dead. -Talk! Shut up! I know that.

Quote from Return of the Bastard Swordsman

272 What would you do if somebody tried to take her away from you? -Probably, nothing... to her.

Mae West as Lady Lou in She Done Him Wrong (1933)

273 I swear I shall make you happy. I shall die to make you happy. -Oh, but you wouldn't be much use to me dead.

Gilbert Roland as Sergei Stanieff; Mae West as Lady Lou in She Done Him Wrong (1933)

274 Oh, if I were as cynical as you, I'd hang myself. -I'd be too cynical to trust the rope.

Humphrey Bogart as Andrew Morton in Knock on Any Door (1949)

275 So you're a fugitive from the laughing house.

Ralph Meeker as Mike Hammer in Kiss Me Deadly (1955)

276 Maybe they're trying to kill me! Who do I know that wants to kill me? No, no. It couldn't be my wife. She doesn't drive.

Ted Wass as Sgt. Clifton Sleigh in Curse of the Pink Panther

277 Only party I'll be smiling at is the one that sees you at the end of a rope.

Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly in Back to the Future Part III

278 It's a Derringer, smithy. Small but effective. The last time I used it, fellow took two whole days to die. Bled to death inside. It was real, real painful.

Buford Mad Dog Tannen in Back to the Future Part III

279 It's-a my own chef's salad-a. The Mafia Machiavelli Special. I make-a it with poison ivy, toadstools and poison berries. Oh, it's-a good, no?

Boris Karloff as Baron Boris Von Frankenstein in Mad Monster Party? (1967)

280 No, wait, wait! Don't kill yourself. -Who's gonna kill myself? I only said that because I didn't think anyone could hear me.

Boris Karloff as Baron Boris Von Frankenstein in Mad Monster Party? (1967)

307 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 28

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