337 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 29

Updated: Jan 15, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

281 The man who was buried in that grave is the only one who ever died of pneumonia in this cursed town!

Clint Eastwood as The Man With No Name in A Fistful of Dollars

282 Yuck, you! How did you come into money? -An unexpected legacy. My uncle simo, the noted carthaginian elephant breeder, came to an untimely end.

Zero Mostel as Pseudolus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

283 Gallows humor. Without it, we'd all be losing our lunch.

Clint Eastwood as Chief Red Garnett in A Perfect World

284 Doctors. doctors are hot, right? OK. so, how about a panel quiz show called What's my disease?

Jonathan Winters as Harry And Wilbur Glenworthy in The Loved One (1965)

285 Mr. Keeler's in peach preserves. Of course, he's very upset about his wife, but his business is so heavy right now that he just can't afford to neglect it for a moment. I guess it's seasonal.

Anjanette Comer as Aimée Thanatogenos in The Loved One (1965)

286 All massacred. -All of them? -Yes, in different parts of the world over the years by the regional savages there.

Anjanette Comer as Aimée Thanatogenos in The Loved One (1965)

287 No, I mean the big, worldwide epidemics. -But if I have to wait for a worldwide epidemic... -I've seen two. One in 1889 and the last one in 1918. -You did fairly well out of them? -Oh yes...

Robert Morley as Dr Knock in Dr Knock (1954)

288 An accident. Knocked over by a car, here in front of the house. Have seen it myself. Killed at once, immediately. Already in hell, or in heaven.

Joseph Cotten as Holly Martins in The Third Man (1949)

289 Ever stretch out on a tombstone, Delores? Feel all that nice, cool marble along your body?

Sidney Poitier as Virgil Tibbs in In the Heat of the Night (1967)

290 Statistically, they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport, you know, like in a head-on crash or flying off a cliff, or getting trapped under a gas truck... That's the worst. I have this cousin... well, I had this cousin.

Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber

337 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 29

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