307 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 29

Updated: Oct 30, 2025

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

281 Now, here's a bottle of Ipecac if anybody drinks poison. Its right here, next to the juice glasses. -Fine.

Tom Hanks as Sam Baldwin in Sleepless in Seattle

282 Maybe we should turn ourselves in. Perhaps after swinging, we could get off to a fresh start.

Jim Cummings as Winnie The Pooh in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

283 I was with him till the very end. -Hmm! No wonder he passed away.

Groucho Marx as Rufus T. Firefly in Duck Soup (1933)

284 I held him in my arms and kissed him. -Oh, I see. Then it was murder.

Groucho Marx as Rufus T. Firefly in Duck Soup (1933)

285 Prettier than a tumor spreading into the cranial sac.

Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan in Clear and Present Danger

286 Be careful, do not touch him. He's dead. -He is alive. -That's worse.

Nausicaa From The Odyssey in Ulysses (1954)

287 I've finally understood why they have sent me this pestilence. There was famine, there were too many mouths, so the gods made less mouths.

Christopher Plummer as Commodus in The Fall of the Roman Empire (1964)

288 He'd make book on his mother getting hit by a truck.

Harvey Lembeck as Harry Shapiro in Stalag 17 (1953)

289 You see, I suffer from insomnia. -Did you ever try 40 sleeping pills?

Otto Preminger as Colonel Von Scherbach; Don Taylor as James Dunbar in Stalag 17 (1953)

290 What are those? -Little black flowers that grow in the sky.

Dana Andrews as Fred Derry; Virginia Mayo as Marie Derry in The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)

307 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 29

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