401 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 32

Updated: May 26, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

311 Qualifications? -Rape, murder, arson and rape.

Quote from Blazing Saddles (1974)

312 We don't hate him. We just want to play with him. -Especially his head.

Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams; Jimmy Workman as Pugsley Addams in Addams Family Values

313 I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Robert Duvall as Lt. Col. William "Bill" Kilgore; Lt. Col. William Bill Kilgore in Apocalypse Now

314 I could put... I could put strychnine in the guacamole.

Stephen Root as Milton Waddams in Office Space

315 One man said he wanted to decapitate me. Nobody else thought that to be too bad of an idea.

Adam Sandler as Bobby Boucher in The Waterboy (1998)

316 How much do you charge for assassinations?

Sacha Baron Cohen as Admiral General Aladeen in The Dictator (2012)

317 From the mountaintops of North Korea to the jungles of Zimbabwe, let every child laborer and sweatshop factory worker sing, Oppressed at last! Oppressed at last! Thank Aladeen, I am oppressed at last!

Quote from The Dictator (2012)

318 What's his status? What's his status? -He's dead.

Tom Sizemore as Danny Mcknight in Black Hawk Down

319 Waiter! Tell me, where's the morgue? Where do they keep the bodies?

Quote from Kung Fu Zombie

320 By the time they found Colin in that godforsaken house, he looked like lasagna with teeth. I'd know. I had to identify the remains.

Quote from Jennifer's Body