401 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 33

Updated: May 26, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

321 The man who was buried in that grave is the only one who ever died of pneumonia in this cursed town!

Quote from A Fistful of Dollars

322 Yuck, you! How did you come into money? -An unexpected legacy. My uncle simo, the noted carthaginian elephant breeder, came to an untimely end.

Zero Mostel as Pseudolus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

323 Gallows humor. Without it, we'd all be losing our lunch.

Clint Eastwood as Chief Red Garnett in A Perfect World

324 Doctors. doctors are hot, right? OK. so, how about a panel quiz show called What's my disease?

Jonathan Winters as Harry And Wilbur Glenworthy in The Loved One (1965)

325 Mr. Keeler's in peach preserves. Of course, he's very upset about his wife, but his business is so heavy right now that he just can't afford to neglect it for a moment. I guess it's seasonal.

Anjanette Comer as Aimée Thanatogenos in The Loved One (1965)

326 All massacred. -All of them? -Yes, in different parts of the world over the years by the regional savages there.

Anjanette Comer as Aimée Thanatogenos in The Loved One (1965)

327 An accident. Knocked over by a car, here in front of the house. Have seen it myself. Killed at once, immediately. Already in hell, or in heaven.

Quote from The Third Man (1949)

328 Ever stretch out on a tombstone, Delores? Feel all that nice, cool marble along your body?

Quote from In the Heat of the Night (1967)

329 Statistically, they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport, you know, like in a head-on crash or flying off a cliff, or getting trapped under a gas truck... That's the worst. I have this cousin... well, I had this cousin.

Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber

330 I've got a few souvenirs for you, pictures of some people you killed. Little memories you can hang on to.

Humphrey Bogart as Dist. Atty. Martin Ferguson in The Enforcer (1951)