207 Funny Quotes About Family from Movies (+ Audio Clips) - page 13

Last updated on: September 10, 2025

A collection of funny quotes about family from movies, complete with audio samples in mp3 & wav formats — great for ringtones or laughs.

121 Look, I'm licked. I'll be a father to him. I'll wipe his nose and brush his teeth. I'll buy him a bicycle. I'll take him camping. I'll push him in a baby carriage. I'll be a mother to him. How's that?

Humphrey Bogart as Andrew Morton in Knock on Any Door (1949)

122 Congratulations. -Oh. You don't congratulate the bride. You congratulate the husband. -Really? Well, what are you supposed to say to the bride? -You wish her good luck.

Quote from Gilda (1946)

123 That stupid blockhead of a brother of mine is out in the pumpkin patch making his yearly fool of himself.

Lucy Van Pelt in It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966)

124 Well, if you take the good with the bad, add it all up, if I were you, I would marry me.

Muhammad Ali in The Greatest (1977)

125 I now pronounce you snowman and wife.

Quote from Frosty's Winter Wonderland

126 Married! I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove, but I can't see the stove.

Groucho Marx as Rufus T. Firefly in Duck Soup (1933)

127 And I'm Piggy. Now, listen carefully. You are Kermit the Frog, and you love me. You want to marry me. You want to have children with me.

Frank Oz as Miss Piggy in The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)

128 Wow, his eyebrows are huge. -Those aren't eyebrows. That's my aunt and uncle.

Quote from The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland

129 After graduation, we moved to the Midwest and stayed with her family as long as we could, almost a full afternoon.

Kevin Costner as Ray Kinsella in Field of Dreams (1989)

130 I'm 36 years old. I have a wife, a child, and a mortgage, and I'm scared to death I'm turning into my father.

Kevin Costner as Ray Kinsella in Field of Dreams (1989)

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