197 Funny Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 18

Updated: Feb 12, 2026

A selection of funny quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

171 Teacher was poisoned by these biscuits.

Bruce Lee as Dubbed In English By Unknown Actor in Fist of Fury (The Chinese Connection)

172 I do not avoid women. But I do deny them my essence.

Sterling Hayden as General Jack D. Ripper in Dr. Strangelove

173 Master! Master! You promised me eternal life, but you give it to the pretty woman!

Tom Waits as Renfield in Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

174 It was a drink that killed him. -How awful. He was an alcoholic? -No. He was hit by a Guinness truck. So, it was quite literally the drink that killed him.

Robin Williams as Mrs. Euphegenia Doubtfire in Mrs. Doubtfire

175 Beat me. Hit me. Beat me till your arms ache. You know I'll only come crawling back for more!

Marilyn Monroe as The Girl in The Seven Year Itch (1952)

176 Fella, you have never lived until you've been chased around the palm tree by that guy's wife.

John Wayne as Dan Roman in The High and the Mighty (1954)

177 But mankind won't be destroyed. The fact that you and I are working here today... is evidence of that.

Vincent Price as Dr. Robert Morgan in The Last Man on Earth (1964)

178 Hey, you know what they say... Early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

Robert Hays as Ted Striker in Airplane (1980)

179 A baby! How thoughtful. -Oh, yes. Yes, I saw it and thought of you.

Will Ferrell as Megamind in Megamind (2010)

180 Hello! -We're your new neighbors. -Don't be alarmed. We're Negroes.

Martin Lawrence as Marcus Burnett; Will Smith as Mike Lowrey in Bad Boys (1995)