John Cleese: 110 Movie Quotes with Audio – Page 10

Updated: Aug 1, 2026

Movie quotes delivered by John Cleese, ranked by user ratings. Listen online or download free MP3 and WAV clips.

91 An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. -Well, I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children.

Queen Lillian (Julie Andrews), King Harold (John Cleese) in Shrek 2

92 Fine! Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong! La, di, da, di, da! Isn't it all wonderful! I'd like to know how it could get any worse!

As King Harold in Shrek 2

93 Uh... excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. Ah! There you are. Right.

As King Harold in Shrek 2

94 Mmm... Exquisite. What do you call this dish? -That would be the dog's breakfast, Your Majesty. -Ah, yes. Very good, then. Carry on, Cedric.

As King Harold in Shrek 2

95 I'm sure he just went off to look for a nice mud hole to cool down in. You know, after your little spat last night. -Oh. You heard that, huh? -Darling, the whole kingdom heard you.

King Harold (John Cleese), Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) in Shrek 2

96 But the whole Kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage. -There's just one problem. That's not my husband. I mean, look at him.

Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz), King Harold (John Cleese) in Shrek 2

97 Today my jurisdiction ends here. Pick up my hat.

As John Langston in Silverado

98 It's a birth. -And what sort of thing is that? -Well, that's when we take a new baby out of a lady's tummy. -Wonderful what we can do nowadays.

John Cleese; Michael Palin in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

99 I wave my private parts at your aunties.

As Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

100 Be quiet! Englishmen! You're all so _ing pompous! None of you have got any balls.

In Monty Python's The Meaning of Life