Steve Martin: 172 Movie Quotes with Audio – Page 9

Updated: Jul 2, 2026

Find the best movie quotes of Steve Martin (August 14, 1945 – Present), with sound clips of his most memorable lines in MP3 and WAV formats.

81 You don't deserve a puppy.

As Rigby Reardon in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

82 Juliet! Those dirty bastards! Beating up a woman. They even knocked your breasts out of whack.

As Rigby Reardon in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

83 I was wearing a special perfume called 'Fondle Me'. Its aroma drew Neff to me like fat to a mother-in-law.

As Rigby Reardon in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

84 'Framed Because He Knew Too Much, But He Refuses to Divulge What He Knew to Anyone but His Mother.'

As Rigby Reardon in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

85 I bounced along in that trunk a long time. Five hours later, I had given up hope of ever going to a regular bathroom again.

As Rigby Reardon in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

86 My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face and then slowly move her to the next room, manoeuvre her next to the bed, marry her, and start the whoopee machine.

As Rigby Reardon in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

87 They spit on your heart, shove it in the oven, then cook the _ out of it, they slice it into little pieces, slam it on a hunk of toast, and they serve it to ya. They expect you to say 'Thanks, honey, it's delicious.'

As Rigby Reardon in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

88 Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble t-r-u-b-i-l, and if you try to correct them, they kill you.

As Rigby Reardon in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

89 It's time for a class picture. Tall ones in back, short ones in front. Now sit! Hold hands. Now smile. That's nice.

As Rigby Reardon in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

90 The finest officers in the Fuhrer's army. -Former army. -For the moment. But we shall rise again. -We'll see about that.

Steve Martin as Rigby Reardon; Carl Reiner as Field Marshal Wilfried von Kluck in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid