The Honeymooners (1955) Quotes with Sound Clips - page 2

The funniest lines and quotes from The Honeymooners (1955) TV Series, with sound clips.

Actors: Jackie Gleason (Ralph Kramden), Audrey Meadows (Alice Kramden), Art Carney (Ed Norton)

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21 Oh... And look at those alabaster hands, how white and pure. -That's powdered sugar.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Alice Kramden (Audrey Meadows)

22 What is the matter with you? What did you tell me to cover up my face, and hit me in the stomach for? -Well, that'll teach you never to trust anybody in the ring.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

23 Are you nuts or something? Stand on the 18th Amendment? You mean stand on the 5th Amendment. The 18th Amendment was for prohibition. -Well, that's just what I mean. Tell them you were drunk when you made out your taxes.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Ed Norton (Art Carney)

24 Do you remember what you said to me before we got married? I'd be happy to live in a tent with you. -I'm still willing. I think it would be an improvement.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Alice Kramden (Audrey Meadows)

25 Hey, Ralph! It's me, Norton. Want me to put the car in the garage? -Just fill it with gas, and point it toward Mexico!

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Ed Norton (Art Carney)

26 How are they gonna know I'm a Hurricane? -Just open your mouth.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Alice Kramden (Audrey Meadows)

27 I am the only girl in town with an atomic kitchen. This place looks like Yucca Flats after the blast.

— Alice Kramden (Audrey Meadows)

28 I didn't call the doctor on account of the bump on your head, I called the doctor on account of the bump in your head.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

29 I got to hand it to you, in between those two fat little ears is a great thinking apparatus.

— Ed Norton (Art Carney)

30 I know all I need to know about playing golf. It's a game they play with 18 holes. I been working in the sewers for ten years. If that don't qualify me as an expert on holes, I give up.

— Ed Norton (Art Carney)

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