The Honeymooners (1955) Quotes with Sound Clips

The funniest lines and quotes from The Honeymooners (1955) TV Series, with sound clips.

Actors: Jackie Gleason (Ralph Kramden), Audrey Meadows (Alice Kramden), Art Carney (Ed Norton)

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1 You men just think that you own this world. -Yeah, but you women get revenge. You marry us.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Alice Kramden (Audrey Meadows)

2 'First Prize, International Dog Show. Awarded to Mrs. J.J. Marshall.' -Well, she might not be attractive, but she's a very lovely woman.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Ed Norton (Art Carney)

3 Hey, wait a minute. Look, what does a woman fall for better than anything else? -A left hook. -No. Flattery!

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Ed Norton (Art Carney)

4 Look, the main trouble I think is you're concentrating too much on the ball. Just forget it.

— Ed Norton (Art Carney)

5 For two days I had it, and I went with it, too. It came easy, and it went just as fast. And that's the way I'd be if I had it. Easy come, easy go.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

6 Hey, wait a minute. I just got an idea. Look, as long as you're going anyway, why don't you sell your body to science? If they pay by the pound, she'll be left a millionaire!

— Ed Norton (Art Carney)

7 I come into this world with pink cheeks, and a healthy pair of lungs, and a lot of big ideas. How am I going out of it? A bald head, blue tongue, and a saucer of warm milk with a pill in it.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

8 I'll tell you why woman's work is never done. Because she's got the toughest boss in this whole world: a husband.

— Alice Kramden (Audrey Meadows)

9 I'm not going to die! -You mean, never? -I don't mean never!

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Ed Norton (Art Carney)

10 Junk? Junk? Junk? Just watch yourself. This furniture was a wedding present from my grandfather. -Yeah. To your grandmother.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Alice Kramden (Audrey Meadows)

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