The Honeymooners (1955) Quotes with Sound Clips - Page 4

The Honeymooners (1955) poster

The funniest lines and quotes from The Honeymooners (1955) TV Series, with sound clips.

Actors: Jackie Gleason (Ralph Kramden), Audrey Meadows (Alice Kramden), Art Carney (Ed Norton)

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31 I know all I need to know about playing golf. It's a game they play with 18 holes. I been working in the sewers for ten years. If that don't qualify me as an expert on holes, I give up.

Ed Norton (Art Carney)

32 I thought I was gonna kill myself laughing, watching her run away from that snake. Oh-oh. -How could you see me run? You were way ahead of me.

Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Alice Kramden (Audrey Meadows)

33 It's my nature to spend. Except I never have anything to spend.

Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

34 My career is stuffing jelly into doughnuts.

Alice Kramden (Audrey Meadows)

35 Oh, boy. Best lawyer in town. He specializes in those cases where a landlord threatens to throw out a tenant. If I only knew how to get ahold of him. -Don't you know his office number? -I knew his old number. He was evicted last week.

Ed Norton (Art Carney)

36 Oh, it'll be a vacation, huh? Working for some boss will be a vacation, huh? Well, I'm calling your bluff. Go ahead and get a job!

Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

37 Say, look at how well he did that! -Oh! He was a good chalker for the first time. -Yeah!

Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Ed Norton (Art Carney)

38 So what? So what if I got in a little trouble? I was a millionaire for a couple of days. That's more than anybody else in this dump can say.

Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

39 That set goes over my dead body! -I couldn't get it out over your dead body. What do you think I am, a mountain climber?

Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Ed Norton (Art Carney)

40 The doctor gave him something to help his sleepwalking. -Yeah? What'd they give him, a pair of roller skates?

Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), Alice Kramden (Audrey Meadows)

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