The Honeymooners (1955) Quotes with Sound Clips

The Honeymooners (1955) Quotes with Sound Clips - Page 8

The funniest lines and quotes from The Honeymooners (1955) TV Series, with sound clips.

Actors: Jackie Gleason (Ralph Kramden), Audrey Meadows (Alice Kramden), Art Carney (Ed Norton)

71 Oh, I suppose getting a night's sleep is gonna fix everything up fine. Sure, I'll go down there tomorrow and they'll say, 'Did you get a good night's sleep?' And I'll say 'Sure.' They'll say, 'Well, that's fine, let's call off the investigation.'

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

72 Please don't touch me, nurse, I'm sterile.

— Ed Norton (Art Carney)

73 Remember during the war? That expression, 'a slip of the lip will sink a ship'? I never sank one.

— Ed Norton (Art Carney)

74 Sleepwalking isn't caused by nervousness. How would I know? I happen to be a bus driver. And if nervousness caused sleepwalking, I'd be going through Australia right now!

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

75 So, don't go envying Trixie. She's got electric stoves, she's got television sets, she's got washing machines. You've got financial security. Just remember that.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

76 That's the fourth maid this week. -The fourth? I only remember three. -Oh, you didn't see one of them. She didn't even put on a uniform. She just walked in the bedroom, saw a mop, got scared and ran out of here.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

77 That's why I don't like to fight too much. I usually hurt someone real bad. Sometimes I even hurt myself.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

78 Then the depression came. I got a job with the W.P.A., shoveling snow to eat. That's how I met Alice: she used to hand out the shovels.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

79 This is a maid? I thought maids had short skirts with white hats and black silk stockings.

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

80 Tonight, I am watching a movie, and if you dare to make a sound while the movie is on, I'll cut off your air supply!

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason)

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