Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid poster

Quotes from the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, featuring sound bites of the best lines.

Actors: Steve Martin (Rigby Reardon), Rachel Ward (Juliet Forrest), Carl Reiner (Field Marshal Wilfried von Kluck)

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1 A half-bottle of bourbon later I still couldn't believe it.
2 Have these men ever told you that your eyes are like two Chinese coins with dollops of caviar in the center?
3 Poor rummy. How did he get it? -Fell out of a window reaching for a bottle of whisky.
4 All dames are alike. They reach down your throat, so they can grab your heart and pull it out, they throw it on the floor and they step on it with their high heels.
5 I was wearing a special perfume called 'Fondle Me'. Its aroma drew Neff to me like fat to a mother-in-law.
6 No dice, Doll-face. You're a client. That's one thing I've learned about clients. Dead ones don't pay their bills.
7 She took direction like a pig takes to garbage.
8 With her I'd had the most honest relationship I'd ever had with a woman. The only thing I'd lied about was my name. I'd told her I was Teddy Novak, so she couldn't track me down if I got her pregnant.
9 Don't go near my daughter again. Don't try to see her. Don't write her and don't phone her. -Can I use her underwear to make soup?
10 Are you drunk? How many have you had? -One martini. I knew I was gonna see you.
 
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