Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid poster

Quotes from the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, featuring sound bites of the best lines.

Actors: Steve Martin (Rigby Reardon), Rachel Ward (Juliet Forrest), Carl Reiner (Field Marshal Wilfried von Kluck)

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21 They spit on your heart, shove it in the oven, then cook the shit out of it, they slice it into little pieces, slam it on a hunk of toast, and they serve it to ya. They expect you to say 'Thanks, honey, it's delicious.'
22 What do you know about a plane that's arriving with a bunch of Germermans on it? Germerm... Germans... Germermans. There's a plane with mermans on it.
23 When these people leave, maybe you and I can have a party of our own. -Oh, I have to think that over. -She was a fast thinker. -I'm very sorry. You all have to go. It has been a perfectly hideous party. Good night.
24 Will $200 be enough in advance? -For $200 I'd shoot my grandmother. -That won't be necessary.
25 You don't smoke, do you? -No, I have tuberculosis. -Oh, thank heavens for that. After last night, my head couldn't stand it.
26 Dead men don't wear plaid... I still don't know what it means.
27 I'll know after one word if she's faking... -Hello? -She's faking.
28 It was the only place he could experiment with his cheeses without the smell bothering the neighbours.
29 Juliet! Those dirty bastards! Beating up a woman. They even knocked your breasts out of whack.
30 Same old Doris. She used to get smoked turkey so it would keep for months. The when it finally went bad, she'd feed it to the maid.
 
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