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Tommy Boy (1995) Quotes with Sound Clips - page 3

Tommy Boy (1995) cover

Sound clips of funny quotes and famous lines from the Tommy Boy (1995) movie soundboard, that you can use as ringtones or for sharing with your friends.

Actors:Chris Farley (Tommy Callahan), David Spade (Richard), Brian Dennehy (Big Tom Callahan)

3 more actors, Bo Derek (Beverly), Dan Aykroyd (Ray Zalinsky), Rob Lowe (Paul Barrish)

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21 But why do they put a guarantee on the box then? -'Cause they know all they sold you was a guaranteed piece of _. That's all it is, isn't it?

— Tommy Callahan (Chris Farley)

22 Hard hats, gentlemen. Get hit in the head without wearing one of these, they scoop your brains out with a goddamn soup ladle.

— Big Tom Callahan (Brian Dennehy)

23 Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it 'guaranteed', I will. I got spare time.

— Tommy Callahan (Chris Farley)

24 Hey, lady, look out! There's a fat whale on your boat! -Yeah! Free Willy!

25 Him too 'fraid to get out. He just a little guy.

— Tommy Callahan (Chris Farley)

26 Housekeeping. You want me jerk you off?

— Richard (David Spade)

27 Let's say the average person uses ten percent of their brain. How much do you use? One and a half percent. The rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin.

— Richard (David Spade)

28 No offense, but if I sent a picture of your mom to some of my buddies at school, she'd definitely be Boner of the Month.

— Tommy Callahan (Chris Farley)

29 No, I mean, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's _, but then... No, it's gotta be your bull.

— Tommy Callahan (Chris Farley)

30 R.T., I lost my virginity to your daughter, for crying out loud! Rob, you were there.

— Tommy Callahan (Chris Farley)

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