337 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 11

Updated: Jan 15, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

101 It's a beautiful day and we're out killing drug dealers. Are there any in the house?

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Jack Slater in Last Action Hero

102 This guy here is dead. Cross him off, then.

Tom Berenger as Taylor in Major League (1989)

103 They bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say let them crash.

Robert Hays as Ted Striker in Airplane (1980)

104 I was never happy as a child. Christmas, Ted, what does that mean to you? To me, it was a living hell.

Robert Stack as Capt. Rex Kramer in Airplane (1980)

105 I'm about to be ripped apart by the family dog.

Donald Pleasence as Dr. Sam Loomis in Halloween (1978)

106 You send that many, don't forget one thing. -What? -A good supply of body-bags!

Richard Crenna as Colonel Samuel "Sam" Trautman in Rambo 1 - First Blood

107 You know what they say about people who commit suicide? In the afterlife, they become civil servants.

Michael Keaton as Betelgeuse in Beetlejuice

108 Welcome to our home. There's a belfry, a swamp, and a dungeon down below.

Raul Julia as Gomez Addams in Addams Family Values

109 Oh, I just adore little babies. I just want to grab them and squeeze them till there's not a breath left in their tiny little bodies.

Joan Cusack as Debbie Jellinsky in Addams Family Values

110 Really, I just can't tell... Does he like me at all? -Of course he does. He vomited.

Joan Cusack as Debbie Jellinsky; Anjelica Huston as Morticia Addams in Addams Family Values

337 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 11

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