291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 11

Updated: Sep 11, 2025

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

101 You know what they say about people who commit suicide? In the afterlife, they become civil servants.

Quote from Beetlejuice

102 Welcome to our home. There's a belfry, a swamp, and a dungeon down below.

Raul Julia as Gomez Addams in Addams Family Values

103 Oh, I just adore little babies. I just want to grab them and squeeze them till there's not a breath left in their tiny little bodies.

Joan Cusack as Debbie Jellinsky in Addams Family Values

104 Really, I just can't tell... Does he like me at all? -Of course he does. He vomited.

Quote from Addams Family Values

105 Do you remember our honeymoon? -That glorious cruise. -No quarrels. -No cares. -No survivors.

Quote from Addams Family Values

106 My name's Fester. It means to rot.

Christopher Lloyd as Uncle Fester in Addams Family Values

107 I'll give you just six hours to make a full confession. After that, I shall use surgery to obtain one.

Quote from Planet of the Apes (1968)

108 I was making jokes, you know, like, hey, I didn't know they had food in Ethiopia. This'll be a quick meal. I'll order two empty plates and we can leave.

Quote from When Harry Met Sally...

109 Um... Oh! Remember the funny movie where the dog dies?

Phyllis Smith as Sadness in Inside Out

110 Well, you're all A-rabs to me, the blacks, the Jews, those blue tree-hugging queers in A-vatar.

John C. Reilly in The Dictator (2012)