291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 12

Updated: Sep 11, 2025

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

111 You go to the bathroom after Osama, you will realize the true meaning of terrorism.

Sacha Baron Cohen as Admiral General Aladeen in The Dictator (2012)

112 When the thought of someone's decapitated head upsets you, that is love.

Jason Mantzoukas as Nuclear Nadal in The Dictator (2012)

113 I knew you were up to something, though I confess I hadn't thought of necrophilia.

Timothy Dalton as Prince Barin in Flash Gordon (1980)

114 Somebody stuck his blades in all his major organs in alphabetical order.

T Bird in The Crow (1994)

115 I'll bury him for you. For by the most coincidental of vicissitudes, madam, I happen to be the owner and director of a local funeral parlour.

Vincent Price as Waldo Trumbull in The Comedy of Terrors

116 It's a little better in the dark. -What is, decapitation?

Quote from The Comedy of Terrors

117 Well, you see, this is the problem with terrorists. They're really inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules.

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Harry Tasker in True Lies

118 How do you stop a dog from barking in July? -Countersign, Shoot them in June.

Quote from Batman (1966)

119 Satan is our only hope. We're in league with the beast now, and we have to make a really big impression on him.

Adam Brody as Nikolai Wolf in Jennifer's Body

120 This same model has a glass bottom, so that when you hit a pedestrian, you can look down and see if he was a friend of yours.

Quote from The Tex Avery Show