401 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 12

Updated: May 26, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

111 They'll be comin' to kill me tonight! -We'd better help. -Yeah, let's get some stuff.

Billy Connolly as Billy Bones in Muppet Treasure Island

112 This guy here is dead. Cross him off, then.

Quote from Major League (1989)

113 They bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say let them crash.

Quote from Airplane (1980)

114 I was never happy as a child. Christmas, Ted, what does that mean to you? To me, it was a living hell.

Robert Stack as Capt. Rex Kramer in Airplane (1980)

115 You send that many, don't forget one thing. -What? -A good supply of body-bags!

Richard Crenna as Colonel Samuel "Sam" Trautman in Rambo 1 - First Blood

116 You know what they say about people who commit suicide? In the afterlife, they become civil servants.

Quote from Beetlejuice

117 Welcome to our home. There's a belfry, a swamp, and a dungeon down below.

Raul Julia as Gomez Addams in Addams Family Values

118 Oh, I just adore little babies. I just want to grab them and squeeze them till there's not a breath left in their tiny little bodies.

Joan Cusack as Debbie Jellinsky in Addams Family Values

119 Really, I just can't tell... Does he like me at all? -Of course he does. He vomited.

Joan Cusack as Debbie Jellinsky; Anjelica Huston as Morticia Addams in Addams Family Values

120 Do you remember our honeymoon? -That glorious cruise. -No quarrels. -No cares. -No survivors.

Anjelica Huston as Morticia Addams; Raul Julia as Gomez Addams in Addams Family Values