291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 13

Updated: Sep 11, 2025

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

121 But your aim on that second shot wasn't too good, baby. So there's just one thing that's stoppin' us: the bullet hole in my belly.

Humphrey Bogart as Ben in Love's Lovely Counterfeit

122 Raving psycho. Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. Taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses.

Chris Farley as Mike Donnelly in Black Sheep (1996)

123 Yes. Poor girl. To have died so young without ever having experienced me.

Miles Gloriosus in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

124 Yes, he's come back. Oh. Well, he's come back, but one of his fingers is missing. -Oh, I hope he didn't leave it anywhere embarrassing. -That's what I'm afraid of.

Quote from Carry On Screaming!

125 Oh, nonsense. Living, she'd just have got old and fat. But like this she'll stay young and beautiful for ever.

Fenella Fielding as Valeria Watt in Carry On Screaming!

126 May I help you, sir? -Yes. I came to arrange about a funeral. -Is the funeral for yourself? -I beg your pardon? No. -I thought you might have come for pre-need counseling. Many of our friends like to plan ahead.

Robert Morse as Dennis Barlow in The Loved One (1965)

127 And now 'tis here... You'll lie. Here... Pickled in formaldehyde and... Painted like a whore...

Robert Morse as Dennis Barlow in The Loved One (1965)

128 Yes. I understand that you inter animals. -Yes. anything from a horse to a mouse. In the case of snakes over 6 feet, we insist that... they be coiled.

Robert Morse as Dennis Barlow in The Loved One (1965)

129 Look, don't call him a hero to me. I was there, right? Well, he fell off a bar stool and broke his neck. That's how it really happened.

Quote from The Loved One (1965)

130 So we open the kid up and what do you think we find? Three buttons, a thumbtack, and 27 cents in change. Parents couldn't afford to pay for the operation so I kept the 27 cents.

Quote from The Fortune Cookie (1966)

291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 13

121 But your aim on that second shot wasn't too good, baby. So there's just one thing that's stoppin' us: the bullet hole in my belly.

122 Raving psycho. Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. Taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses.

123 Yes. Poor girl. To have died so young without ever having experienced me.

124 Yes, he's come back. Oh. Well, he's come back, but one of his fingers is missing. -Oh, I hope he didn't leave it anywhere embarrassing. -That's what I'm afraid of.

125 Oh, nonsense. Living, she'd just have got old and fat. But like this she'll stay young and beautiful for ever.

126 May I help you, sir? -Yes. I came to arrange about a funeral. -Is the funeral for yourself? -I beg your pardon? No. -I thought you might have come for pre-need counseling. Many of our friends like to plan ahead.

127 And now 'tis here... You'll lie. Here... Pickled in formaldehyde and... Painted like a whore...

128 Yes. I understand that you inter animals. -Yes. anything from a horse to a mouse. In the case of snakes over 6 feet, we insist that... they be coiled.

129 Look, don't call him a hero to me. I was there, right? Well, he fell off a bar stool and broke his neck. That's how it really happened.

130 So we open the kid up and what do you think we find? Three buttons, a thumbtack, and 27 cents in change. Parents couldn't afford to pay for the operation so I kept the 27 cents.

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