309 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 18

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A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

171 What about Monday? We doing anything Monday? -No, Monday would be fine. You can kill him on Monday.

Buford Mad Dog Tannen in Back to the Future Part III

172 Excuse me, I just need to take your measurements. -Oh, look, pal, I don't want to buy a suit. -No, this is for your coffin.

Michael J. Fox as Marty Mcfly in Back to the Future Part III

173 And then there are the numerous fringe benefits, such as our generous employee insurance policies. You may rest assured that if anything happens to you, I'll be well taken care of.

Mel Blanc as Daffy Duck in Daffy Duck's Quackbusters

174 Wait, I get you. I gotta be nicer to my slave labor, right? Chubby over there. I thought so. Say no more. I'll treat him with kid gloves.

Mel Blanc as Daffy Duck in Daffy Duck's Quackbusters

175 Would you like to examine the body? -I would be delighted. -This way, sir.

Peter Sellers as Inspector Jacques Clouseau in A Shot in the Dark (1964)

176 What do you say, Jack? I'm a Jew. I'm divorced. I'm broke. And I'm dying of cancer. Do you think I get a discount?

Debra Winger as Joy Davidman in Shadowlands

177 The kids? -Lost one yesterday. -Awful, eh? How did that happen? -Playing with matches. -Well, those are the breaks. -Yeah, I guess so.

Jonathan Haze as Seymour Krelboined in The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

178 Oh, a cold, a puny cold! Why don't you get yourself a real female with something decent like pneumonoconiosis, or gall stones? -Well, maybe she could catch something like that.

Jonathan Haze as Seymour Krelboined in The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

179 Oh, please don't die till I get back, will you ma? I'll take care of you. I'll always take care of you, I promise! -Yeah. -Bye.

Jonathan Haze as Seymour Krelboined in The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

180 Oh, sure, I can understand that, Judge, but come on, death for running a stop sign? -And for being a banker. That's the double death.

Chevy Chase as Chris Thorne; Dan Aykroyd as Alvin "J.P" Valkenheiser in Nothing but Trouble (1991)

309 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 18

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