291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 18

Updated: Sep 11, 2025

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

171 And then there are the numerous fringe benefits, such as our generous employee insurance policies. You may rest assured that if anything happens to you, I'll be well taken care of.

Mel Blanc as Daffy Duck in Daffy Duck's Quackbusters

172 Wait, I get you. I gotta be nicer to my slave labor, right? Chubby over there. I thought so. Say no more. I'll treat him with kid gloves.

Mel Blanc as Daffy Duck in Daffy Duck's Quackbusters

173 Would you like to examine the body? -I would be delighted. -This way, sir.

Quote from A Shot in the Dark (1964)

174 What do you say, Jack? I'm a Jew. I'm divorced. I'm broke. And I'm dying of cancer. Do you think I get a discount?

Debra Winger as Joy Davidman in Shadowlands

175 The kids? -Lost one yesterday. -Awful, eh? How did that happen? -Playing with matches. -Well, those are the breaks. -Yeah, I guess so.

Quote from The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

176 Oh, a cold, a puny cold! Why don't you get yourself a real female with something decent like pneumonoconiosis, or gall stones? -Well, maybe she could catch something like that.

Quote from The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

177 Oh, please don't die till I get back, will you ma? I'll take care of you. I'll always take care of you, I promise! -Yeah. -Bye.

Quote from The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

178 Oh, sure, I can understand that, Judge, but come on, death for running a stop sign? -And for being a banker. That's the double death.

Quote from Nothing but Trouble (1991)

179 Will you please scare me some more, sir? I sort of like it.

Quote from Halloween Is Grinch Night (1977)

180 What kind of a monster is he? A ghoul? A demon? A spook or... -A human. -They're the worst kind! He must be done away with.

Quote from Mad Monster Party? (1967)

291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 18

171 And then there are the numerous fringe benefits, such as our generous employee insurance policies. You may rest assured that if anything happens to you, I'll be well taken care of.

172 Wait, I get you. I gotta be nicer to my slave labor, right? Chubby over there. I thought so. Say no more. I'll treat him with kid gloves.

173 Would you like to examine the body? -I would be delighted. -This way, sir.

174 What do you say, Jack? I'm a Jew. I'm divorced. I'm broke. And I'm dying of cancer. Do you think I get a discount?

175 The kids? -Lost one yesterday. -Awful, eh? How did that happen? -Playing with matches. -Well, those are the breaks. -Yeah, I guess so.

176 Oh, a cold, a puny cold! Why don't you get yourself a real female with something decent like pneumonoconiosis, or gall stones? -Well, maybe she could catch something like that.

177 Oh, please don't die till I get back, will you ma? I'll take care of you. I'll always take care of you, I promise! -Yeah. -Bye.

178 Oh, sure, I can understand that, Judge, but come on, death for running a stop sign? -And for being a banker. That's the double death.

179 Will you please scare me some more, sir? I sort of like it.

180 What kind of a monster is he? A ghoul? A demon? A spook or... -A human. -They're the worst kind! He must be done away with.

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