378 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 36

Updated: Apr 23, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

351 Reassemble. -Huh? -Reassemble.- I can't reassemble him. You squashed him. He's dead.

Tim Blaney as Number 5 The Robot in Short Circuit (1986)

352 I hate my life. -I hate your life too. -If I had a life, I'd hate it.

Steve Whitmire as Rizzo The Rat; The Great Gonzo in Muppet Treasure Island

353 Terrific. Captured by crazed wild pigs and sacrificed hideously before a pagan altar. -Are we lucky or what?

Steve Whitmire as Rizzo The Rat; The Great Gonzo in Muppet Treasure Island

354 It's all right, you don't have to thank me. Maybe I'll take your life one day.

Quote from The Shaolin Heroes (1980)

355 Great! We're stuck here until we shrivel up and die. -Highly improbable. -That's a relief. -We're far more likely to drown. -Oh, no!

David Thewlis as Mr. Earthworm; Simon Callow as Mr. Grasshopper in James and the Giant Peach (1996)

356 We're gonna be frozen like living statues. -Dead living statues.

Simon Callow as Mr. Grasshopper; David Thewlis as Mr. Earthworm in James and the Giant Peach (1996)

357 Someone made a tape of something dying or something.

Will Ferrell as Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

358 I'm about to be ripped apart by the family dog.

Donald Pleasence as Dr. Sam Loomis in Halloween (1978)

359 You better not go to sleep. As soon as your eyes shut, I'm gonna punch you square in the face.

Will Ferrell as Brennan Huff in Step Brothers (2008)

360 Oh, don't imagine that you're going to die of it today or tomorrow. No, no, we can take our time.

Robert Morley as Dr Knock in Dr Knock (1954)