401 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 35

Updated: May 26, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

341 It's-a my own chef's salad-a. The Mafia Machiavelli Special. I make-a it with poison ivy, toadstools and poison berries. Oh, it's-a good, no?

Quote from Mad Monster Party? (1967)

342 No, wait, wait! Don't kill yourself. -Who's gonna kill myself? I only said that because I didn't think anyone could hear me.

Quote from Mad Monster Party? (1967)

343 Now, here's a bottle of Ipecac if anybody drinks poison. Its right here, next to the juice glasses. -Fine.

Tom Hanks as Sam Baldwin in Sleepless in Seattle

344 Maybe we should turn ourselves in. Perhaps after swinging, we could get off to a fresh start.

Jim Cummings as Winnie The Pooh in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

345 I was with him till the very end. -Hmm! No wonder he passed away.

Groucho Marx as Rufus T. Firefly; Margaret Dumont as Mrs. Gloria Teasdale in Duck Soup (1933)

346 I held him in my arms and kissed him. -Oh, I see. Then it was murder.

Groucho Marx as Rufus T. Firefly; Margaret Dumont as Mrs. Gloria Teasdale in Duck Soup (1933)

347 Prettier than a tumor spreading into the cranial sac.

Quote from Clear and Present Danger

348 Be careful, do not touch him. He's dead. -He is alive. -That's worse.

Nausicaa in Ulysses (1954)

349 I've finally understood why they have sent me this pestilence. There was famine, there were too many mouths, so the gods made less mouths.

Christopher Plummer as Commodus in The Fall of the Roman Empire (1964)

350 He'd make book on his mother getting hit by a truck.

Harvey Lembeck as Harry Shapiro in Stalag 17 (1953)