418 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Audio – Page 4

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31 Even psychiatrists can tell the difference between patients who are alive or dead.

Tim Curry as Wadsworth in Clue (1985)

32 See that? He's dead. Dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up, dead from the neck down. But that's life.

Quote from Bee Movie

33 I'm afraid my memory's very bad for live faces.

Anjanette Comer as Aimée Thanatogenos in The Loved One (1965)

34 If I were my father, I'd have you tortured.

Claudia Cardinale as Princess Dala in The Pink Panther (1963)

35 I come into this world with pink cheeks, and a healthy pair of lungs, and a lot of big ideas. How am I going out of it? A bald head, blue tongue, and a saucer of warm milk with a pill in it.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden in The Honeymooners (1955)

36 I heard of one planet up in the seventh dimension, got used as a ball in a game of intergalactic bar billiards. Got potted straight into a black hole, killed ten billion people. -Madness, total madness! -Only scored 30 points, too.

David Dixon as Ford Prefect in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

37 Execute her? -No, too kind.

Max von Sydow as Emperor Ming The Merciless; Peter Wyngarde as General Klytus in Flash Gordon (1980)

38 I didn't push him. He jumped. And anyway, he had an umbrella. Is it my fault if he forgot to open it?

Quote from The Fortune Cookie (1966)

39 Well, the sun's gone out. First thing to happen when a sky falls.

Peter Cullen as Eeyore in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

40 Which service have you decided on? -Well, I don't know. -We can give you entombment, empyrement, dissemination, or eternalization. -I don't know what the hell you're talking about. -That would be embalmed, buried, scattered, or burned.

Robert Morse as Dennis Barlow in The Loved One (1965)