291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 3

Last updated on: September 11, 2025

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

21 Well, I did say only last week that all the loved ones that come from Mr. Joyboy have the most beautiful smiles.

Anjanette Comer as Aimée Thanatogenos in The Loved One (1965)

22 They told me you were hung... With red protruding eyeballs... And black protruding tongue.

Robert Morse as Dennis Barlow in The Loved One (1965)

23 I'm afraid my memory's very bad for live faces.

Anjanette Comer as Aimée Thanatogenos in The Loved One (1965)

24 Which service have you decided on? -Well, I don't know. -We can give you entombment, empyrement, dissemination, or eternalization. -I don't know what the hell you're talking about. -That would be embalmed, buried, scattered, or burned.

Robert Morse as Dennis Barlow in The Loved One (1965)

25 The grave's a fine and private place... But none, I think... Do there embrace.

Robert Morse as Dennis Barlow in The Loved One (1965)

26 As there are many people of delicate sensibilities, with a natural reluctance to expose their loved ones to anything savoring of immodesty, I've been considering the advantages of training a female embalmer.

Jonathan Winters as Harry and Wilbur Glenworthy in The Loved One (1965)

27 There's got to be a way to get those stiffs off my property.

Jonathan Winters as Harry and Wilbur Glenworthy in The Loved One (1965)

28 I didn't push him. He jumped. And anyway, he had an umbrella. Is it my fault if he forgot to open it?

Quote from The Fortune Cookie (1966)

29 Say, how much you think my pelvis is worth? -By itself, nothing, so it's a good thing you came to me.

Walter Matthau as Whiplash Willie Gingrich in The Fortune Cookie (1966)

30 Why don't you kids go play on the freeway?

Walter Matthau as Whiplash Willie Gingrich in The Fortune Cookie (1966)

291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 3

21 Well, I did say only last week that all the loved ones that come from Mr. Joyboy have the most beautiful smiles.

22 They told me you were hung... With red protruding eyeballs... And black protruding tongue.

23 I'm afraid my memory's very bad for live faces.

24 Which service have you decided on? -Well, I don't know. -We can give you entombment, empyrement, dissemination, or eternalization. -I don't know what the hell you're talking about. -That would be embalmed, buried, scattered, or burned.

25 The grave's a fine and private place... But none, I think... Do there embrace.

26 As there are many people of delicate sensibilities, with a natural reluctance to expose their loved ones to anything savoring of immodesty, I've been considering the advantages of training a female embalmer.

27 There's got to be a way to get those stiffs off my property.

28 I didn't push him. He jumped. And anyway, he had an umbrella. Is it my fault if he forgot to open it?

29 Say, how much you think my pelvis is worth? -By itself, nothing, so it's a good thing you came to me.

30 Why don't you kids go play on the freeway?

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