418 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Audio – Page 2

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11 Ransom? Certainly not because, in order for there to be a ransom, there must first be a ransom note. -Knew we forgot something.

Ken Sansom as Rabbit in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

12 A man says he's paralyzed, we simply throw him in the snake pit. If he climbs out, then we know he's lying. -And if he doesn't climb out? -Then we have lost a patient, but we have found an honest man.

Quote from The Fortune Cookie (1966)

13 This is Radio KSIK. You've been listening to Music for Old Invalids. Our next selection is entitled Sickroom Serenade.

Quote from The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

14 He's the one that made the monster. Let's boil him in tomato juice! Yee!

Michael Gough as Gopher in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

15 If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with Merry Christmas on his lips would be cooked with his own turkey, and buried with a stake of Holly through his heart.

Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge in The Muppet Christmas Carol

16 He died? And this is supposed to be a kids' movie. Oh.

Steve Whitmire as Rizzo The Rat in Muppet Treasure Island

17 The time has come to liquidate our guests.

Maximilian Schell as Dr. Hans Reinhardt in The Black Hole (1979)

18 Dead men do not buy dog food!

Dom DeLuise as Fagin in Oliver & Company (1988)

19 I heard of one planet up in the seventh dimension, got used as a ball in a game of intergalactic bar billiards. Got potted straight into a black hole, killed ten billion people. -Madness, total madness! -Only scored 30 points, too.

David Dixon as Ford Prefect in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

20 Even psychiatrists can tell the difference between patients who are alive or dead.

Tim Curry as Wadsworth in Clue (1985)