401 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 2

Updated: May 26, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

11 A man says he's paralyzed, we simply throw him in the snake pit. If he climbs out, then we know he's lying. -And if he doesn't climb out? -Then we have lost a patient, but we have found an honest man.

Quote from The Fortune Cookie (1966)

12 The time has come to liquidate our guests.

Maximilian Schell as Dr. Hans Reinhardt in The Black Hole (1979)

13 This is Radio KSIK. You've been listening to Music for Old Invalids. Our next selection is entitled Sickroom Serenade.

Quote from The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

14 He's the one that made the monster. Let's boil him in tomato juice! Yee!

Michael Gough as Gopher in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

15 Ransom? Certainly not because, in order for there to be a ransom, there must first be a ransom note. -Knew we forgot something.

Ken Sansom as Rabbit in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

16 You didn't leave the girl down in the cave long enough.

Geraldine Page as Madame Medusa; Geraldine Page in The Rescuers (1977)

17 Dead men do not buy dog food!

Dom DeLuise as Fagin in Oliver & Company (1988)

18 Did you lose weight? Or a limb?

John Goodman as James P. "Sulley" Sullivan; James P. Sulley Sullivan in Monsters, Inc.

19 Well, he won't get very far, that's for sure. He hasn't got enough blood left in him to keep a chicken alive.

Quote from The Asphalt Jungle (1950)

20 Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.

John Lithgow as Lord Farquaad in Shrek (2001)